Monday, January 28, 2008
I am currently being courted heavily by two men. A good guy and a bad guy. They both could be considered rulers of the financial worlds. One has his own private plane and the other just rents one on an as-needed basis. They are both in their early 40s, devastatingly funny, and "easy on the eyes" would be the understatement of the century. One might say that I have found myself in quite an envious position - with the exception of one little thing - they each sport a certain piece of jewelery that I find highly objectionable. No, not a nose ring or even a thick, gold chain. They both have wedding rings on...because, they are, well, married.
The "good one" is my friend, Will. He has been happily married to his wife for 16 years and they have three kids. They have the perfect life, the perfect marriage, and the perfect family. They have a full floor apartment right on Park Avenue and spend their Summers in Maine. The kids to go the very best private schools and Will has never once had an affair. I know this - because we are good friends - and he is the straightest arrow that I have ever met. His wife is super duper cool...and they tell each other everything. He even told her that he has developed a crush on me and she thinks it is cute. She calls me his "girlfriend." She isn't worried and she is happy that Will has someone he likes to go out with because her social schedule is always above max capacity. Sometimes, she calls when we are out - and he will put me on the phone to say "hi." Not exactly a lurid affair happening here - but I think Will likes to imagine it in his mind...and his wife is smart and secure enough to know it will never happen. A sort of innocent game of "pretend affair" - if that is even possible?
The "bad one" is the Hedge Fund manager from Colorado that I met in the Four Seasons Hotel a few months ago. Like Will, Colorado has been married to his college sweetheart since pretty much forever and they also have three children and an outwardly perfect life. However, Colorado and his wife fight like cats and dogs and he cheats on her all the time. He had admitted to having mistresses all over the country that he is currently supporting. His wife is a total nag (according to him, of course) and he can't smoke enough pot on a daily basis to dull the pain of still being married to her. He tells her nothing - yet he is seemingly careless about his affairs, that it is obvious he wants to be caught. He is a bad, but charming, egg. When Colorado's wife calls - he hits the "ignore" button and continues on with our platonic date. I often insist that he picks up - especially as I like to remind him, that nothing is happening between us that he would have to hide. I might be right - but perhaps he is just hiding from wifey-poo like the cowardly husband that he seems to be?
Despite the fact that Will and Colorado know very well that I will never lower myself to the status of being anyones side dish - they both treat me like we are dating. I mean, it is total hands off......but in the past few weeks I've been to lunch at Michael's and to the theater twice with Will - and Colorado has taken me to a lavish dinner at Il Mulino and to to have $200 pasta with truffles at Joël Robuchon. They both make me feel like I am movie star pretty and hang on my every word. There is never a date that doesn't include round trip chauffeured cars and both men are total gentlemen - each and every time. I am adored, fussed over, and I get to not ever have to worry about fending off advances at the end of every expensive and glamorous evening. They both just leave, smiling, after a peck on the cheek...and call me to do something fabulous again just days later.
Clearly, this arrangement can't go on forever - but I think it is so successful because we are all getting something out of it we so desperately need. I am getting the attention that the Hedge Funder refused me and feeling almost "goddess like"; Colorado is hearing the word "no" from a woman - possibly for the first time and he clearly loves the challenge; and Will is getting all the satisfaction of what it would be like to have an affair, but without actually having one...so that itch has been scratched - with no one has gotten hurt - and his curiosity largely satisfied.
It all sounds so perfectly neat and tidy...but with a good number of my evenings these days being divided up between two married men - I'm not exactly sure where this road leads? Could friendship with a married man be the "gateway drug" to an affair with a married man? I certainly hope I am not being terribly naïve here. However, for now - it seems to be smooth sailing ahead - even though it is quite possible that I lost my telescope!